The day has come, today you will be starting school.
You are of course more then ready. You may be one of the youngest but with two older siblings you have been ready and raring for school for ages. Full of confidence, full of character, always making every one laugh. I could watch and listen to you play all day.
I think this morning will be strange for me. When Harry and Matilda started school I was a stay at home mum. I took them into school, came home to a house that was a little quieter, and spent all day wondering what they were doing, if they were happy.
Now I work at the same school. I will be able to take you to your class for your first day, I will see you in and make sure you are happy before I go. And I know you will be more then happy. But then I will have to rush off, to go to my own class, to settle down the other children, and hope that they are all happy to be back too.
In some ways maybe that will make it easier, to see my baby off to school then rush off to work. To know that, although I am not with you, I will be in the same building, if you really need me. But I am sad that I won’t be able to really take my time, waving you off at the door, wondering what you are doing. I won’t have time to let the emotions get the better of me. I will have no choice but to hold it together so I can go into work okay.
I am sad that when you finish early on settling in days, it will be your childminder collecting you. I love your child minder, I couldn’t wish for better. But I am so jealous that she will get to see you first. To know first what you have done on your first day. She will get to see you come out of class, hopefully with a big smile. And I know she will take a photo of you, and tell me all about it, but I would love to be there myself.
After today it will be easier. Me being at the school makes it easier for me to see the things you will be doing. It means that if you ever do need me I am right there. It means I will be able to see you in assemblies, catch a quick smile at lunch time. After your settling in period I will get to drop you off and collect you every day And I will of course spend all of the holidays with you.
But for today, for your first day, I wish I could be that stay at home mum again. I wish I could stand outside the gate for a while with the other mums hoping that you are okay. I wish I could come home and sit by the phone just in case the school phone early. And most of all I wish I could be the one collecting you, to see your smile.
So for today, as you go into you first day at reception, know that I may be holding it together, but I am full of emotions. So proud of you, so happy that you are a happy and confident little boy, and so sad that my baby is growing up right before my eyes.
Love Mummy xxx
Just a few of my favourite photos of you
The day you were born.
Those tiny little hands, all finger and finger nails.
On your first birthday.
18 months old at Christmas.
3 years old
This one was taken over the summer holidays and I love it.
Lastly, this photo taken on holiday. You may be crying in it, but I love the emotion in the photo. You and Harry had been playing with giant leaves, you had broken one of Harry’s and got so upset when you realised what you had done.